Ailment: chronic self-doubt
Manifestation: they must have made a mistake
Case Study: Subject (dr. m) has not been blazing a trail of publications, though many people have (had?) high hopes for him. Nevertheless, subject receives unsolicited email from editor of an exciting international on-line journal saying subject's name was given to him as a good person to place on journal's editorial board. Sceptically, subject goes to journal website to find list of editorial board members, where he spots the name of his dissertation advisor and several well-knowns, such as Judith Butler. Surely there has been a mistake. But, subject writes email and attaches CV (as requested) accepting the honor of serving on this board. Chronic Self-Doubt (CSD) sets in further when, one week later, no other contact has been made from editor (saying something like "welcome on board"). Subject's conclusion is that mistake in fact has been made (the realization coming after editor sees CV) and that editor hopes that subject will simply forget this little email exchange ever happened.
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4 comments:
Do we share a career? :)
If not, we certainly share neuroses.
I think I would be intimidated to serve on a board wtih Judith Butler ....
Doesn't it make sense that your dissertation advisor would have recommended you? I would have seen that and said, "Oh, that's how they got my name."
Rudbeckia, I fear that a lot of us academic bloggers are eerily similar.
Jo(e), I failed to mention that I figured that my advisor was the one who proposed me to the editor. Of course, this is a whole other neurosis where I think that my advisor either: (a) is deluded, (b) is trying to give me charity, or (c) accidentally gave out the wrong email address to the editor.
I am starting to think that academics come in two flavors: those of us who are astoundingly paranoid, and occasionally squirrely as we try to hide this fact from colleagues (at least until tenure), and the rest of the asshats who are convinced that every rejection happens because the reviewers are either jealous or stupid. It's getting so I don't feel comfortable trusting academics who don't have at least a slight whiff of paranoia about them.
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