The new semester is about to start and I'm feeling very positive about it. I feel so calm and collected that it's freaking me out a bit. Usually I micromanage my syllabi (and overstock it) to the point that everything is in its neat little place. This usually results in having to cut and paste and edit everything on the fly. So, this semester I've produced "loose" syllabi--and it makes me happy. Of course, maximizing contingency and emergent themes should freak me out. But it hasn't. And that sort of freaks me out.
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I prefer the "loose" syllabus myself. That way I can change things around once I get to know my students.
I think that's part of my overall insecurity. I change my courses around every semester. Then I adapt on the fly with them. Then I get great evals. Then I feel like I'm a loser. I know that I had to learn this somewhere in grad school because I wasn't like this when i was younger. (And, I finished undergrad 15 years ago, my doctoral coursework 6 years ago, my diss 4 years ago, yet I'm more of a flibbertiggibet each semester).
I think that adapting on the fly -- being flexible and spontaneous, changing to meet student needs -- is a mark of good teaching. Something to feel good about. Beginning teachers are often rigid because they don't feel confident.
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