vital statistics

Number of dogs my partner and I have: 2

Number of dogs who sleep in the bed: 2

Number of times dogs were up before 6am this morning: 3

Average number of times per week one of the humans ends up on the couch: 6

Number of courses I'm teaching this semester: 2

Days until they start: 6

Number of syllabi finished: 0

Number of T.A.s in my auditorium-sized class: 2

Days I have left to get them the syllabus, according to my promise: 0

Number of my T.A.s who probably have a better publishing record than I do: 2

Number of projects (writing and domestic) I wanted to complete this break: 6

Number completed: 1

Number given half-hearted attention to: 1

Number of candidates my department is interviewing next week: 2

Number of tenure-track positions I hold: 0

Number of tenure-track positions I've been interviewed for: 0

Percentage less my salary is than second-lowest paid department colleague: 27

Percentage of $1000 faculty bonuses I received last month: 0

Amount of retroactive 4% faculty raises I received last month: 0

My department rank this year in number of student credit hours taught: 2

My rank last year: 1

Type of computer I use: iMac

Book I'm currently reading: The Right Nation: Conservative Power in America

Favorite magazine: Harper's

Band playing right now as I write: Neutral Milk Hotel